


Hello, I love you (SKAM AU)

by JacksonIsWheezing



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Artist Marco, F/F, F/M, Jean and Annie are besties, Jean is a gay disaster, Jean needs a hug, M/M, Marco needs a hug, Moblit and Hanji take care of Jean, Skam France - Freeform, The one with the toilet paper scene, everyone needs to chill, gay panicking, skam belgium - Freeform, skam norway - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24804148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacksonIsWheezing/pseuds/JacksonIsWheezing
Summary: Jean tries hard to convince everyone around him that he's not gay. He really isn't. Then he meets Marco and is forced to come out. How much is he willing to sacrifice for the boy he loves? How well will he handle the gigantic cluster of shit storm that is headed his way?----------------------------------------------------------------SKAM is a Norwegian series that focuses around the lives of teenage characters. It has multiple remakes (France, Italy, Spain, Germany, Belgium, US).  The story will revolve around season 3.  I do not own the plot. I'm just going to give it a little twist and maybe combine some of the scenes from the different remakes.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Marco Bott/Mina Carolina, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Reiner Braun/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Saturday, 10 pm**

Drunk teenagers were scattered all over Sasha's living room and kitchen. Some of them were outside making out, letting their hormones get the best of them. Loud music blared through the speakers as the teens jumped up and down, holding their beers in one hand. Some of them held glow sticks as they danced with their partners.

Annie, Sasha, Bertholdt and Historia were all huddled up in a corner playing spin the bottle. The group laughed and screamed loudly as the bottle landed on Annie.

Sasha let out an obnoxious laugh, rubbing her palms together, scheming for a perfect way to embarrass their uptight friend. "Truth or dare?"

Annie sighed and crossed her arms, "Truth"

The group let out a disappointed groan. Sasha gave her a boring question and the game went on.

Jean and his group of friends watched from the bathroom with the door slightly open. Connie and Reiner were sprawled out in the empty tub, squishing themselves together in the tight space, completely stoned. Eren was leaning against the sink beside Jean, lighting another cigarette.

Eren bumped his shoulder against Jean's. He nodded his head towards the direction outside the bathroom where a group of girls were dancing. "Which one's your target for tonight?", he asked while scanning the room.

Jean let out a bored snort and emptied his beer. "I don't know man. You?"

Eren pointed at a random blonde dancing quite wildly in the far end of the living, most likely already drunk.

"Are you serious?", Jean scrunched his nose and stared at the girl. Not really his type.

Reiner and Connie were no longer laying in the bathtub. They were studying the girl while nodding in approval.

"Come on, Jeany. Would you not fuck her?", Reiner asked in disbelief.

"Stop being disgusting, man", Jean retorted.

"She's got nice boobs", Connie mumbled absentmindedly beside them.

Eren rolled his eyes at Jean, "Are you kidding? She's the one who probably thinks you're disgusting"

The three laughed at him and Reiner ruffled his hair. "Seriously, who are you going for tonight?"

Jean put the bottle of beer down on the sink and scanned the living room. His eyes eventually landed on a beautiful Asian girl. She was wearing a black frilly dress, a bit nerdy to be quite honest, but she pulled it off. It went well with her short and straight black hair, she had a catching pair of dark eyes and she wasn't as wild as the other girls. "Her..", he smiled shyly.

The three of them nodded in approval as they all shared a fist bump.

Reiner handed Eren a small package of weed, "It's your turn. Keep it safe"

Eren handed him the package back and scowled. "I can't. My mom regularly searches my room. I don't know what she expects to find in there but i'm scared one day she just might"

Connie reached for the bag, "Give it here, princess. Y'all a bunch of nerds"

Reiner retrieved the package as quickly as he could, as if Connie would steal it and run. "I wouldn't even trust you with a pen. No thanks, baldy"

"I'll do it", Jean snatched it from Reiner's and slid it in his pocket.

The comfortable silence between them was broken when two girls came running into the bathroom. Jean and Eren were pushed away quite harshly from the sink as the girl revoltingly gagged all over the sink, puking her guts out. Jean shuddered and looked away from the horrifying scene.

Connie slapped him on the arm and wiggled his eyebrows, pointing at the other girl who was holding her friend's hair as she threw up. It was the same Asian girl he saw from the living room earlier. Connie cleared his throat and approached the girls, "Hey, your friend doesn't look good. Do you need help with that?"

"You think?", the Asian girl snapped and glared at Connie.

Eren whistled, "Wow. Rude"

The Asian girl's eyes widened and blushed in embarrassment. "Oh no. Sorry. I just didn't expect my night would turn out like this. I'm sorry"

"Hey.. it's okay. You're supposed to be having a good time. I'll take care of her", Connie smiled and held up the girl's hair.

Reiner and Eren were doing the thing with their eyes, urging Jean to talk to the girl.

Jean held out his hand and smiled softly at her. "I'm Jean. You?"

The girl shook his hand and smiled back. "I'm Mikasa"

Jean didn't let go of her hand and pulled her closer to him until they were inches apart. "Nice to meet you. You've got a beautiful hair by the way"

Mikasa giggled and shook her head. She didn't say anything but Jean noticed she was staring at him... at his face. Maybe even checking him out. She did seem a bit shy though.

"Here", he held the joint to her mouth. She took a hit but ended up coughing violently. The three boys snickered behind them. Jean drew the joint away from her and took a hit, stepping closer to her. He cupped her cheek and pressed his lips against hers. He exhaled the smoke gently in her mouth and he could feel her take it all in. She didn't cough this time.

His friends eventually started clearing out of the bathroom quietly, giving them the space they needed. Once the door was shut behind them, Mikasa's shyness miraculously went away. Maybe she felt awkward around his friends.

She started kissing him roughly, catching Jean off guard. She kissed his neck, sucking hungrily. Jean noticed she was going down on her knees. He quickly stopped her. His bravado left the room with his friends.

"Woah", he chuckled nervously. "Slow down"

Before she could answer, he heard a commotion outside. It gave him a convincing excuse to push her away and go outside to check what was happening. He saw Sasha talking with the cops. They were probably telling her to keep the music down. His thought suddenly went to the weed inside his pocket. He panicked and shoved the bag of weed inside a random vase and exited through one of the windows.

He didn't see Annie glaring at him at the corner of the room, eyeing the weed that was left abandoned in her friend's house.

**•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°**

**Monday, 1 pm**

Jean stood outside of the bathroom while waiting for his three friends to finish their business. His phone vibrated in his hand indicating a notification. It was from his mother. Another bible verse. He bit his lip and ignored it.

He looked up from his phone when he heard his friends exit the comfort room. They were gagging and groaning, obviously disgusted with something.

"What?", Jean asked in confusion.

"Connie is being a disgusting freak again. Ugh", Eren complained and made a face.

"What do you mean? Bro she touched this hand! There's no way i'm washing it"

Reiner let out an exasperated sigh, "I feel sorry for all the girls you will date"

Connie made an offended face while the three laughed. They were walking towards the lockers when a loud brunette approached them. It was Sasha. The girl who threw a party two days ago.

"Hi guys! What are you doing this friday?", she asked in excitement. She was holding a bunch of flyers and was looking up at them expectantly.

"Uh nothing..?", Eren answered.

"Awesome. You're invited to an event this week then!", she handed them each a flyer.

Reiner studied the flyer. " 'Dig Your Common Room'? What's this?"

Eren handed her the flyer back, "It's where the lame and lonely people hang out after class"

"Why the fuck would we go there?", Jean asked in confusion.

"Duh. Because it's the coolest hang out in high school", she replied. She seemed very confident in what she was saying.

Reiner was making a mocking face beside her, nodding to whatever she was saying. Connie, on the other hand, was looking intently at her and checking her out.

"My friends and I are conducting research on how the creation of open spaces fosters exchanges between different people. The principal loved the idea and asked us to take over the student common room"

The three of them shared a look, wanting to get away from the situation. Well, aside from Connie.

"Right! And you're doing this without me. Good luck", Eren patted Sasha's shoulder and started walking away.

"Yeah I can't go too. Family stuff. You know how it is", Jean lied and handed her the flyer back.

"We're going", Connie declared confidently, still staring at her heartily.

"No we're not", Reiner intervened and took the flyer away from Connie, handing it back to Sasha. He pulled Connie away from the scene leaving Jean alone with Sasha.

"Right. See you around, potato girl", he turned his back from her, ignoring the defeated look on her face, and started walking away.

He took a quick detour to his locker before going to his next class. Just as he was about to open the locker all the way, someone slammed their hand against it and forced it closed again.

Jean jumped a little and glared at the culprit. "The fu-"

Annie glared at him, "You're going to that event. And you're bringing your friends"

Jean snorted and raised an eyebrow. "Why the fuck would I do that?", he slapped her hand away from his locker and took his books out.

"Because I have your weed. And Sasha's my friend. You're not going to fuck her over"

Jean froze for a moment and forgot how to breathe. "Okay fine. We're going. Now give it back"

"You think I'm dumb, Kirstein? I'm giving it back when the four of you show up to Sasha's meeting", without waiting for an answer, she walked away.

He cursed under his breath. It was gonna be a pain in the ass to drag his friends to that event but Reiner would break his neck if he lost the weed. He was fucked. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Friday, 4 pm**

Jean arrived in the common room half an hour early. Annie, Sasha, Historia and Armin were already there setting up the chairs. He took off his scarf and jacket then placed it on a random table.

"Good! You're here early. Help us fix the chairs and tables", Sasha beamed at him. He couldn't help but roll his eyes. Sometimes it baffled him how much energy the girl had.

Historia and Armin were already done setting up the posters and other decorations. They were now fixing the plates and cups. And Annie... well, shit. She was already approaching him.

"Where are your idiot friends?", she asked. Her tone was calm and quiet but he felt like she could end his life without lifting a finger.

"They're coming, Goldilocks. Patience", he muttered while setting up the chairs, making sure they were aligned.

"This meeting means a lot to Sasha, Kirstein. This thing?", she points around the room with her finger, "It bores us too. This is lame. But this is Sasha. You know how she is when it comes to things like this. We care about her and it's nice to see she's investing her energy into something else other than.... food".

There was a long pause. Only the sound of chairs getting dragged across the floor could be heard. "And remember, Kirstein. You owe her. If the cops found your weed in her house, she would be in big trouble. You don't like people finding out about that, do you?", then she walked away.

Jean rubbed a hand across his face in frustration. He was finally done fixing the chairs.

People started arriving, mostly freshmen. There were rarely any juniors like them around. He doubted the seniors would go to this boring meeting. There were around 12 people now.

"Welcome! There's cake and orange juice. Help yourselves", Sasha urged them to get their plates.

His friends arrived in a few minutes. He was already seated in the middle row, the three followed suit. Reiner and Eren gave him a what-the-fuck-is-this look while Connie ogled at Sasha.

"Dude I thought you said there are going to be girls?", Eren whispered to Jean.

"And where are the drinks?", Reiner asked while looking around in confusion.

"Are you blind? Fucking look in front of you. Three girls. And there's orange juice", Jean huffed in irritation.

Sasha, Annie, Historia and Armin stood in front and already introducing themselves. Jean would kick a puppy to be anywhere else other than this place right now.

"Dude. Look", Connie nudged Eren pathetically with his eyes still glued to Sasha, "Holy shit she's winking at me"

Eren groaned, "Connie, she's rubbing her goddamn eye"

Two girls entered the room and sat a few chairs away from them. It was Mikasa and her friend from last week. Jean suddenly started to feel a little twitchy. She winked at him while motioning to the empty seat next to her.

"See, Connie? That was a wink", Eren muttered.

Jean just gave her an awkward wave and pretended he never caught on to her hint. He continued shifting uncomfortably with his knees bouncing up and down. He looked behind him to check the time but something else other than the clock caught his eye.

A tall freckled brunet entered the room. His face was speckled with adorable freckles and his eyes were the perfect shade of brown. He sat down behind him, smiling and greeting other people as he did so. Jean didn't realise he was staring. The brunet's eyes suddenly met his. He began to panic and looked away.

His heart pounded heavily in his chest and he suddenly forgot how to breathe. What the fuck was that? He built up some courage and tried stealing a quick glance again. Fortunately this time, the guy was engaged in a conversation with a girl next to him. Jean felt a little bitter about that.

The meeting went excruciatingly long. He could hear what Sasha and the others were saying but he didn't understand a single word. There were words and diagrams scribbled all over the whiteboard. He suddenly felt like he was in History class.

He excused himself politely and went to the toilet, grabbing his things with him. He walked along the hallway, taking his time. Maybe he should go for a quick smoke.

After a few minutes of standing outside, he went into the comfort room to wash his hands. He hated the smell of cigarettes sticking to his fingers.

The world must have a sick sense of humour because as he entered the bathroom, there he was in all his manly glory, the brunet from earlier. He hesitated before entering and walking slowly towards the sink. He washed his hands quietly. He was about to grab some paper towels to dry his hands when the guy beat him to it. The brunet just finished washing his face. He grabbed a paper towel, and another. He kept pulling until all of it was gone. He crumpled them in his hand and started drying his face with it. Jean looked at him like he grew testicles out of his nose. Who the fuck needed that amount of paper towels in one go?

The guy stopped wiping his face and gave him a look. Realization suddenly hit him as if it wasn't obvious. "Oh. You needed one too?", the freckled guy bent over to grab some in the trash bin, looking for what could be salvaged.

Jean gave him a confused look then suddenly got weirded out, "I- What? No. No I'm fine"

The guy smiled and took the rolled up joint behind his ear. He waved it to Jean's face and pointed outside. "You coming?", he walked out without waiting for a response. Jean was fazed by the guy's confidence that he, Jean Kirstein, would follow a random stranger in the bathroom because he had weed. And because he was indeed Jean Kirstein, he did follow him outside to smoke some weed. And also because he looked like a Greek god straight out of a fantasy book.

It was now starting to get dark outside. The weird guy was sitting on a bench smoking. He was unsure what to do at first but eventually sat next to him. The guy gave him a smile again and handed him the joint. They sat in awkward silence for a few seconds before the guy finally decided to break it.

"I'm Marco by the way"

Jean let out a shy laugh, "Ah. I'm Jean"

"French?"

"My mom's side"

Marco hummed and took the joint from Jean to take a hit. He was still looking at Jean and they were sitting very close next to each other although the bench was wide enough to fit 4 people on it.

"So what happened there after I left?", Jean asked, still refusing to look at Marco.

"You didn't miss much", he handed the joint back to Jean, "Sasha turned off the lights and let us walk around the room. Whoever you bumped into, you had to feel each other. If you touched a dick, you had to suck it"

Jean's face twisted in confusion. He almost believed him because Sasha did have the potential to do that. But Marco's shit eating grin gave it away.

Jean bumped his knee against Marco's playfully, "Fuck off"

"So what year are you in?", Marco asked.

"Third year. You?"

"Same as you"

Jean took this as an opportunity to study Marco's face. He was even more gorgeous up close. He got so lost staring into those brown orbs.

Jean looked away and settled his gaze on the ground, "No way. You look older. Senior?"

"Nah I got held back because of dumb reasons"

"How old are you?"

"19"

Jean chuckled and handed him the joint. "Old man"

"Aw come on. You can't be that much younger. I'm assuming you're 17?"

Jean smiled and nodded. He heard Marco chuckle beside him. They were sitting close enough that he could feel the puff of air against his cheek every time Marco laughed.

The universe wasn't on their side today because all of a sudden Mikasa showed up.

"Hey..", she smiled at them both.

Marco looked at her with a raised eyebrow while Jean just gave her a nod.

"We're setting up pairs for cooking schedules. I was wondering if you want to pair up with me?", she continued.

Jean looked at Marco then back to Mikasa. Marco cleared his throat and bumped his shoulder against Jean's. "I thought we agreed to be a pair already?"

"Oh uh. Yeah. Sorry, Mikasa. Dippin dots here already paired up with me"

Marco smiled and held out his hand for a handshake, "I'm Marco"

Mikasa shook his hand politely. "I'm Mikasa. Are you new here?"

She went to sit between them and started asking Marco random questions. The smile fell off Jean's face. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Why don't good things last?


	3. Chapter 3

**Sunday, 2 pm**

It was a warm and lazy afternoon. Jean was lounging on the couch in the living room with Hange. He had two older roommates, Hange and Moblit, both in college. When Jean's parents had a divorce, he wanted to get away from all that for his own mental health. He just couldn't stick around his mother's nagging and his father who wasn't always there. He preferred not to move in with any of them.

One night, Moblit found Jean pissed drunk outside a random gay bar. In Jean's defense, he really had no idea it was a gay bar. He was 16. He was puking his guts out while leaning against a lamppost. Little did he know there was a guy trailing behind him, probably waiting for him to pass out so he could do God knows what to the poor teen. Fortunately, Moblit caught sight of the whole thing. He took the teen home because he didn't know what else to do with him. He just couldn't leave him alone in the streets. Hange cooed at Jean the entire night. She talked about how pretty his hair was and that she wanted to keep him, as if he was a pet. Jean chattered about his life drunkenly, making jokes out of it but only ended up crying.

Jean did remember what happened the next day but he had an awful hangover. The older teens were kind enough to let him stay a bit longer for breakfast. He couldn't thank the two enough for tolerating him.

Apparently, the two had trouble paying rent and needed another roommate. That's how he ended up moving in with them after an endless reasoning and arguing with his parents.

Jean's phone vibrated on the couch next to him. It was a notification from Mikasa. She sent him a friend request. He looked at the screen for far too long, not even realising he was hesitating, before clicking the accept.

"Jean?", he looked up from his phone and saw Moblit approaching them. He was wearing a silk purple robe while holding a unicorn mug. He sat down on the couch in between him and Hange.

"Hey Moblit"

"So I was wondering if you're going to pay the rent late or you're not going to pay at all", he said in a sassy tone.

Jean sighed and slouched against the couch, "I know. I'm trying. I'm sorry. I'm just waiting for my dad to send the money"

Moblit rolled his eyes and ruffled Jean's hair, "Tell me something I haven't heard before, darling"

Jean gave him an apologetic smile which the older man returned. Moblit was an angel. A saint. A pure soul.

There was a beeping noise coming from Moblit's phone. They broke eye contact as Moblit picked up his phone to check who it was from.

"Ever since I changed my profile picture the notifications won't stop coming", Moblit flipped the phone to show him his Grindr profile.

Jean grimaced at the naked picture of Moblit with his hand covering his crotch. He groaned and looked the other way, scooting away from him as far away as he could. Never mind what he said. Moblit wasn't a pure soul at all.

"Fucking hell, Moblit. I don't want to see what your pubes look like"

The older man snorted and waved a hand dismissively at Jean, "Come on you didn't even see anything"

Just when he thought Moblit was going to leave him alone, "Jean I have another question.."

"What is it?", Jean answered boredly.

"There was this straight guy who asked me about blowjob. Do you think he wants to receive one or give me one? Because if that's the case I wouldn't want him to sound like", Moblit made a gagging noise while pretending to suck a dick. Jean gave him a disgusted look.

"Stop. Jesus fucking Christ, man"

But he still continued making the cursed sounds. Jean's face twisted in irritation and he was right about to leave the room. "Moblit I get it you can stop now"

"But seriously, I don't understand. If you like to suck dick then you're not straight. No questions asked"

Jean hesitated, "Maybe they just want to try it?"

Moblit gave him an are-you-kidding-me look with his eyebrows raised.

"Maybe they're curious?", Jean added.

Moblit rolled his eyes, "Curious, my ass. Look at this. Does this butthole look very curious to you?", he flipped the phone to Jean's direction once again to show him a very daring picture of an ass with its cheeks spread apart.

"Alright I'm out", Jean raised his hands defeatedly and got up the couch.

"Hey where are you going?", Moblit asked with a fake offended look on his face.

"I don't want to spend my fucking weekend staring at naked dudes", and with that, he slammed his door shut.

Hange was still focused on the television, not caring about what was happening at all. Moblit shrugged and went back to his phone while sipping his tea.

**•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°**

**Monday, 8 am**

Jean was walking to his class when he saw the club registry pinned at the bulletin board. He stopped walking and walked towards it. He immediately scanned the stapled papers for their club. As soon as he found it, he looked for Marco's name.

'Marco Bott'

Jean smiled and brushed his fingers against the name. There you are, Marco.

"Uh... are you done with that?", a boy asked behind him.

He stepped away from the bulletin board awkwardly and headed to class.

**•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•**

**Monday, 1 pm**

Jean was sitting in class waiting for their teacher. He took his phone out and went to Facebook. He typed Marco Bott in the search box but nothing. People he didn't recognize kept popping out of the results. Jean exited out of the app and went to Instagram to do the same, still nothing.

He sighed and bit his lower lip. He took a leap of faith and typed in Marco Bott in Google. The results made his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

At the top of the results, there was a YouTube link with Marco's name in it. He plugged in his earphones and clicked on the link.

_'"Hello, Marco. So tell me about this project of yours", the cameraman asked while filming Marco who was sitting on the grass._

_Marco smiled brightly at the camera, "It's called Polaris. This is a story about two characters and a tunnel"_

Jean chuckled to himself, not because it was funny but because he found Marco so cute. The brunet was wearing the same shirt when they met but paired with a different jacket.

_"Is it a guy and a girl?", the cameraman asked._

_"It's a boy and the other one can be whoever. A girl, a boy, a mythical creature, anything. No one really knows. The boy never leaves the tunnel because he's afraid of the light. So the other person must go to him in the dark. ", Marco answered._

_"Interesting. How do they meet then?"_

_"Well, they can't meet because everyone is afraid of changes. Afraid of the unknown. So they talk at the border without seeing each other.They start talking everyday and eventually get to know each other. Then they realized they fell in love with each other but still, they might never see each other"_

_"They'll never see each other? At all?"_

_"Except if one of them overcomes their fear and comes to the other"_

"What are you watching?"

Jean threw the phone at the table harshly with the screen facing down. Annie suddenly popped behind him and peeked over his shoulder. Annie snickered and grabbed a chair next to him.

"Damn it, Annie. That wasn't very nice", Jean mumbled and unplugged the earphones. He put the phone back in his pocket.

Annie sat next to him and oddly enough, she was smiling. "Keep that attitude up and you won't get your gift"

"What gift?", he asked boredly.

"Too late. You lost your chance"

Jean dropped the subject. Annie was probably messing with him anyway. The teacher walked into the classroom and started saying something. Jean couldn't be bothered to care because his brain was still in Marco land.

"So... are you guys planning to have another club meeting again?", Jean asked nonchalantly.

Annie raised an eyebrow at him, "Oh now you're interested? You ditched us last time"

"Uh.. that's why I'm asking? I had fun last time. It wasn't that bad. I just want to make it up to Sasha for leaving, you know?"

Lies. He definitely didn't have fun. At least not until he met Marco.

Annie stared at him for a moment, studying him, before shrugging. "Well, there's another one next Wednesday if you're up for it"

Jean nodded and took his notebook and pen out. "Cool. I'm going"

She sighed and grabbed her bag. She rummaged through her bag to look for something until she found it. "Okay. I have something for you"

Jean raised his head away from his book, completely interested now. "What is it?"

Annie was about to hand Jean the packet of weed when the teacher called out their attention.

"Ms. Leonhart and Mr. Kirstein what's that you're passing to each other?"

Annie cursed under her breath and passed it to Jean under the table. She shoved her hand back in her bag. "It's nothing. Do you ever respect your students' privacy?", she snapped.

The teacher walked towards their table, "What are you hiding in your bag, Ms. Leonhart?"

"It's nothing. I was just looking for my pen"

Jean was looking anywhere but the teacher. He slipped the packet inside his bag while their teacher's attention was still on Annie.

"I'm not a fool, Leonhart. Show it to me or both of you will get detention"

Annie groaned dramatically and slammed the tampon on the table, pretending to be embarrassed. "I had an emergency and Jean bought me a tampon. Great. Now the whole class knows. Are you happy now? Unbelievable"

The teacher rolled her eyes and walked back to her desk, "Stop exaggerating and pay attention to class"

Annie and Jean shared a look before laughing quietly. She wasn't so bad after all.


	4. Chapter 4

****•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°** **

**Wednesday, 12:30 pm**  
  
Jean really looked forward to attending the club meeting. He made sure his hair was decent and even picked a good outfit. But lo and behold, Marco was nowhere to be found. He tried to hide his disappointment when he only saw Armin, Historia, Annie and Sasha in the common room. Of course Marco wouldn't be there. It was a lame gathering after all. The common room was also a mess. There was an ugly graffiti of a giraffe on the wall and the chairs were too ugly and rusty to use. The current state of the room was disturbing but what's even more disturbing was how much he was thinking about Marco lately. They haven't seen each other in days and Jean felt like his world was going to cave in.

They were currently gathered in a circle checking the questionnaires the girls handed out a few days before. The members were asked what they expected from the club and what activities they could suggest. The boring stuff.

"So Jean~ I've heard you've caught the eye of a certain brunette", Sasha teased. The others looked up from each of their questionnaires and also gave him a knowing look.

"Huh. Weird. I don't know what you're talking about", he answered nervously. Had he been that obvious? There was no way his hearty stares at Marco were that noticeable. He shifted uncomfortably on his seat and pretended he was too focused on the damn questionnaire to give a fuck.

"Mhm. Great catch, Kirstein. Say hello to the mysterious 'M' for us", Annie added while playing with a pen.

Jean's heart stopped beating and he swallowed the lump in his throat. How? How did everyone know? He hadn't even told anyone about Marco. And they only talked once. Literally not even more than 10 minutes before they were rudely interrupted.

"Mikasa told me about you, Jean. She won't shut up about you", Armin smiled at Jean casually.

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah. She's …. nice"

Of course it would be Mikasa. He didn't know whether he should be relieved or get even more nervous.

"By the way, have you guys seen the tall one? My lord he's hot", Historia added out of nowhere. Jean almost agreed loudly then he realised who he was with and where he was.

"Which one?", Annie asked.

"The one with the freckles. He looks like an angel. But he ditched us so that's a red flag", Historia diverted her attention back to the questionnaire and drifted away from the world again.

"Tell me about it. Very rude. Ain't it, Kirstein?", Annie smirked at him. The girl just won't leave him alone.

Jean sighed, "And here I am making up for it. When are you ever gonna let that go?"

"What, and give you the satisfaction? Life doesn't work that way", she huffed. The other two girls giggled like gremlins.

"You'll get used to them", Armin gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Sasha made a disgusted noise and all of them turned to her direction.

"What is it?", Armin asked.

She held the questionnaire with a weirded out expression, "Just another weirdo. None of them took the questions seriously. Listen to this, What do you expect from this club? **For Sasha to notice me**. What do you think you're going to enjoy doing in gatherings? **Looking at Sasha**. What makes a club meeting boring? **When Sasha isn't there**. What will make club meetings more interesting? **Sasha** ", she rolled her eyes and put the paper down on the table defeatedly. "And at the bottom, they wrote their number"

"Let me see that", Jean took the paper to confirm his suspicion. He chuckled in amusement and shook his head. "This is Connie's number"

"Who names their son 'Connie'? Isn't that a girl's name? That's just awful", Annie looked at the paper in pity.

Jean caught a glimpse of a familiar brunet pass through the hallway. Was that Marco? He hesitated for a moment before getting up and grabbed his things. "Sorry guys. I forgot to do my homework. See you around", and with that, he scurried out of the room.

He walked along the hallway looking around but didn't see Marco. Damn him and his ghosting skills. The guy was a pro. Just as he was about to go check the other way, a huge mass of disappointment with the ugliest green eyes kicked the back of his knee.

"Sup, lil pony", Eren declared while chewing a gum. Reiner and Connie were trailing behind him. "We saw you coming out of the common room. The fuck were you doing there?"

Goddamn it.

"You've been spending lots of time with the girls lately. Got tired of your girl already?", Reiner clicked his tongue playfully.

"How many times do I have to tell you Armin isn't a girl?", Jean sighed.

"Could've fooled me", Reiner shrugged.

Connie doubled over and grabbed Jean by the shoulders forcefully. He shook Jean back and forth, "You were with Sasha? Did she say anything about me?"

Jean groaned and pushed Connie's hands away from him, "Congratulations, buddy. She finally noticed you. You're the first one on her creep list"

"Huh? What did I do?"

Reiner and Eren shook their heads. Reiner put an arm around Connie's shoulder, "Buddy, just let it go. Save yourself the heartbreak. There are lots of girls out there that are just as desperate as you"

Eren nodded in agreement.

Connie gasped and shook Reiner's arm away, "I am not desperate! I am just… passionate"

Jean snorted, "Passionately desperate"

Before Connie made another attempt to defend his honour, Mikasa and her friend walked over to them. The guys went quiet and listened to them curiously.

"Hey Jean", Mikasa smiled sweetly while tucking her hair behind her ear. "Do you have any plans this Friday? We're throwing a party. Not a huge one, just a casual hang out"

Jean turned behind him to look at his friends then back at Mikasa, still not knowing what to say. Deep inside he wanted to refuse but his friends were giving him encouraging looks like the idiots they were.

Mikasa laughed and winked at his friends, "You can all come of course"

Jean rubbed the back of his neck, "That's too bad. We already have something planned this Friday", he looked back at his friends expectantly, "Right, guys?"

The three of them waved their hands dismissively. Reiner smacked the back of Jean's head and grinned at Mikasa, "Of course we're coming. And we're bringing drinks!"

Mikasa shared a giggle with her friend and nodded, "Awesome. We'll send you the address. See you around". She looked into Jean's eyes for a moment before walking away with her friend.

"The hell is wrong with you man? Were you seriously going to turn that offer down?", Eren asked him in disbelief.

Reiner laughed and ruffled Jean's hair, "Maybe little Jeany here wants to keep us to himself for the rest of his life. Our protective stallion"

"Yeah man you're being weird. You've never turned down an invitation from a hot girl before", Connie added.

"Fucking hell, man. I just met her days ago and she already follows me around and can't stop talking about me to her friends. It's stressing me out"

"Why do you sound so annoyed? I'd kill for a hot girl to follow me around like that", Connie said.

"She's totally into you, dude. Is it because you think you're way out of her league? Drop the insecurity and go for it", Eren slapped Jean's arm playfully.

Fuck..

**•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°**

**Wednesday, 11 pm**

Jean was in bed with his laptop. He was watching another one of Marco's videos. He was talking about his short film, Polaris, again. His voice was intoxicating and so were his eyes. He carried a confident aura and listening to him talk made Jean forget about the rest of the world.

The clip showed a short sequence of the drawings Marco made illustrating what happened next when the two characters met. The boy was walking around in the rain towards a tunnel while holding a flashlight. He stopped at the entrance and waited. Soon, the person who lived in the tunnel finally walked outside. They held out their hand to the boy. He took them and intertwined their fingers. The boy leaned in and they shared a loving kiss.

Jean paused the video and stared at the two characters kissing. He then rewinded the video to where Marco was in frame and paused it, staring at him once again. He was thinking about how it would be if he had that with Marco. He pictured the two of them kissing in the rain and holding each other close.

He sighed and closed the laptop shut. He grabbed his phone and hesitated. He never thought he'd see the day when he installed Grindr on his phone. He's got nothing to lose after all. He quickly made an account. He was scrolling through profiles of random men. Some of their profile pictures were overly revolting but most of them were… interesting. He found himself scrolling through them longer than he thought until he saw Moblit's profile, the one where his pubes were visible with his hand cupping his balls. Jean gagged dramatically and exited out of the app. He quickly uninstalled the the cursed thing from his phone and stared at it in shock. 

He turned off the lights and crawled under the covers, hugging himself. He was scarred for the rest of his life.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_AN: (The drawings used above were screenshots taken from Skam France. I didn't take them myself. I just googled it lmao)_


	5. Chapter 5

**Friday, 4 pm**

Jean was sitting at a bus stop waiting for a ride. The party starts at 7 pm but he still didn't know where to get money to buy beer. Apparently it's his turn to get the damn liquor today. He almost lost Reiner's weed. He wouldn't dare turn down the guy's request. It's not that he was scared of him. He just felt a little guilty.

He sent Moblit a quick text asking if he could borrow money but the guy just sent him a picture of his middle finger captioned with _'Sorry, honey. You still owe me 💙 Come home for dinner. I'm making lasagna. Hange bought ice cream'_

Moblit was such a mom. Jean sighed and stood up when the bus arrived. He grabbed his bag lazily and got in. All the seats were taken so he stopped at the nearest pole. He sent a text to his dad this time. He was two months late on rent. Moblit was nice and patient but he just didn't know when he'll decide to kick him out and find a more responsible roommate.

Ever since Jean's dad had a baby with his new wife, he paid less attention to him. He just felt neglected. He would send a text to him and he'd reply two to three days after. Thinking about it just left a bad taste in him mouth. Anger filled his chest again. It was clawing its way out, ready to explode. Surprisingly, his dad replied in a few minutes. It was a picture of the baby captioned with, 'I'll send it tomorrow. Your little sister can't wait to meet you'

Jean bit his bottom lip and stared bitterly at the picture. They had the nerve to name the kid after him. They named her Jena because his dad said the the two of them look too much alike. And Jean hated that. He felt replaced. That new wife and the baby broke his family. They were enjoying what was supposed to be his. There was no way in hell he'll ever want to meet them. He'd rather stab himself in the eye.

"Don't glare at your phone like that. Poor thing will melt", someone next to him chuckled.

Jean looked up to see a tall freckled teen smiling down at him. He was leaning against the same pole as he was. Jean realised they were standing too close next to each other. The bus wasn't even that crowded. He looked down to hide his face and felt his ears suddenly go warm.

"It's nothing. Dumb friends just asked me to buy beer for a stupid party. I'm a little broke right now"

Marco hummed, "I think I can help with that"

Jean's eyes widened, "No. I don't want to borrow money"

Marco snorted, "Don't be shy. It's just me. Come on"  
  
The bus stopped and Marco pulled him out by the wrist. They walked a few blocks around to go to the closest liquor store. He realized Marco was still holding his wrist casually, not even bothered by it. Jean felt his ears start to go warm again. Eventually, he let go of Jean's wrist. They were finally at the store.

"Wait here", Marco left him standing dumbfoundedly in front of the store. He watched him go in but in a few minutes he came out holding nothing. No beer.

"I forgot my ID at my place. Let's go"

Jean gaped at him in confusion. The guy was walking ahead of him now. He didn't even know where they were going but he was already following him. This felt familiar. It's like that time in the bathroom again. He followed Marco blindly every time he asked. And just like before, Marco was confident Jean was going to follow him.

Jean caught up to Marco and walked side by side with him. What if he was a serial killer? He did act weird. He still couldn't forget about what he did to those poor toilet papers. Serial killers turn out to be the people you least expect.

"Where are your friends?", Marco asked.

His brain suddenly told him to run. He was making sure he was alone before he carried on with his murder. Jean groaned mentally and shook the thought away. He needed to chill.

"They went with the girls and ditched me"

Marco chuckled, "Monsters"

"Tell me about it"

Marco laughed and placed his hand on Jean's waist to pull him gently to the side of the street. "This way"

The apartment was a little unorganised but not too messy. Marco started to remove his shoes so he did the same.

"Hello?", he yelled and whistled when no one answered. "Nice"

He led Jean to his room. He took of his jacket leaving him only in his Queen tank top. Marco stretched and let out a deep and long groan as he felt his muscles start to relax.

Jean's mouth suddenly went dry. He immediately forced himself to think about something disgusting. Dead puppies. Stripper grandma. Dead babies. No boners.

He distracted himself by looking around Marco's room while the brunet rummaged around. He faced the wall filled with drawings. His art style was so good. Most of them were realistic portraits of people he didn't know but what caught his eye was a drawing of a raccoon. Marco stood next to him and looked at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Jean didn't know what it was but he was smiling at him.

"You like it?", Marco asked.

Jean smiled and nodded, "You like raccoons?"

"It's my spirit animal. They're cool. And they have a mask"

Jean let out a small laugh with his eyes still fixed on the drawings. He still refused to look at Marco. "What about me? What's my spirit animal?"

Marco grabbed Jean's chin gently and tilted it up, forcing Jean to look straight into his eyes. He stared at him for a few seconds. Jean didn't realise he was holding his breath. He let go of Jean's chin and shrugged. "I don't know. I have to think about it"

Jean exhaled shakily, "Cool"

"Do you like stars?", Marco asked.

"Uh.. yeah"

Without a second thought, Marco started pulling the curtains down. Jean didn't even realise it was already starting to get dark outside until he looked through the window. Soon, pitch black engulfed the room. Marco guided him towards the bed. "Lay down"

"U-Um.. excuse me?"

"Just do it. I'm not going to do something freaky"

Jean swallowed and did as he was told. Here he was again, catching whatever the fuck Marco threw his way. No questions asked. He was absolutely smitten.

He felt Marco lay down beside him on the bed and he heard a soft click as Marco pressed on a button. Jean's breath hitched when stars engulfed the dark room. At the very corner, there was a moon. He realised it was Marco's night light. The stars and the moon looked so real.

"Wow", Jean whispered.

"Yeah..", Marco tilted his face sideways and stared at Jean's face. "Beautiful.."

Jean laughed and tilted his head to the side to look at Marco. They were both looking at each other now. "Your face has stars too"

"You like it?"

"Yeah…", Jean whispered.

Marco grinned and sat up on the bed. Jean was confused but did the same. Maybe Marco felt awkward already? He wouldn't blame him if that was the case. Jean's existence screamed awkward.

Jean's suspicions were proven wrong when Marco reached for his guitar and started tuning it.

"You play?", Jean asked and settled into a more comfortable position on the bed.

"When I'm in the mood"

_**Something inside the cards I know is right** _  
_**Don't want to live somebody else's life** _  
_**This is what I want to be** _  
_**And this is what I give to you because I get it free** _  
_**She smiles while I do my time** _

_**I could die for you** _  
_**Oh this life I choose** _

It took Jean a few seconds to register what was happening. Marco was singing. His eyes were fixed on Jean as he strummed the guitar, singing his heart out. Marco's eyes shined under the makeshift moon and stars on the ceiling. His voice sounded so soft and filled with unknown emotions.

**_I'm here to be your only go-between_ **  
**_To tell you of the sights these eyes have seen_ **  
**_What I really want to do is turn it into motion_ **  
**_Beauty that I can't abuse_ **  
**_You know that I'd use my senses to_ **  
**_You can see that it's only everywhere_ **  
**_I'd take it all and then I'd find a way to share_ **

Jean stared at Marco as his heart beat violently in his chest. His ears felt too hot and his mouth hang open as he got lost in Marco's voice. The older teen smiled at him as if he could read Jean's thoughts.

**_Come along and go_ **  
**_Along with me_ **  
**_Wander with me yo_ **  
**_It's all for free_ **

**_I could die for you_ **  
**_What you want to do_ **  
**_Oh this life I choose_ **

**_I could die for you_ **  
**_What you want to do_ **  
**_Oh this life I choose_ **

Marco gave the guitar one final strum before ending the song. Jean was still blushing madly and the smile on Marco's face directed to him wasn't helping.

He put the guitar down and turned on the lights, getting rid of the stars and the moon.

"Didn't know you could sing", Jean whispered.

"I love to look at the stars while singing when I'm upset"

Jean furrowed his eyebrows, "You're upset?"

"Not me. You. Felling better?"

For the first time in months, Jean forgot about the issue with his father and his wife. He wasn't wallowing in self pity. He was having a good time. And he was smiling.

A knock on the door made them look away from each other. Marco gave Jean an apologetic look before standing up to open the bedroom door. A short girl with soft black hair entered the room. He saw the girl giggle at something Marco said then wrapped her arms around Marco's shoulder and tiptoed to give him a kiss. Marco placed his hands on her hips and kissed back, smiling softly.

"Jean, this is Mina. Mina, that's Jean", Marco said softly with his arm wrapped around her waist.

Oh…

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_AN: The song Marco sang is called I could Die For You by Red Hot Chili Peppers 👁️👄👁️_


	6. Chapter 6

****•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°** **

**Friday, 7 pm**

Jean suddenly felt like he didn't belong there. His chest started to tighten and suddenly found it very hard to breathe. Of course Marco would have a girlfriend. Jean couldn't find it in himself to hate the girl because she was very nice to him. Mina had brought cookies she made and to be honest Jean enjoyed them very much. When she noticed he was eating them like a hungry piranha, she snatched Marco's share of cookies and put them on Jean's plate. Marco gave her the most offended look he could manage.

"Mina I was eating those"

Mina laughed and patted his cheek, "And you're going to eat more of those when I stay the night tomorrow"

Marco sighed and popped open a can of soda.

"You've got pretty hair, Jean. Is that your natural hair colour?", Mina asked as she leaned forward towards him.

"Uh yeah thanks. Got it from my mom"

She ruffled his hair but went to fix it after. She seemed to enjoy touching his hair and he didn't know how to feel about that. "You know, some girls would die to have this hair color of yours. It's unique and it complements your eyes. If you ever need a haircut just let me know. I work in a salon"

Jean smiled at her and pretended he was busy typing on his phone, acting as if the angry texts from his friends didn't exist. His eyebrow twitched when he heard Mina giggle as Marco did something to her under the table. Jean didn't couldn't even bother thinking about what that was.

He ate the rest of his cookie and felt like he lost his sense of taste. He didn't feel like eating them anymore. He pushed the plate away and cleared his throat

"I think I should go. The guys are waiting for me"

"Oh! You should take the rest of the cookies. I'll wrap them up", Mina picked up the plate containing the leftover cookies and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him and Marco in the living room.

"Damn it. We forgot about your beer"

Shit. Jean cursed under his breath and collapsed on the couch. He buried his face into a pillow. "I'm so fucked, dude"

"Hey, it's okay. I think I got a case laying around in the fridge"

Marco followed Mina to the kitchen to grab the beer. Meanwhile, he could feel his phone going off in his pocket. It was probably the guys wondering where he was already. Well here he was, going crazy over a guy who just technically serenaded him under the moon and stars but finding out he actually had a girlfriend. What the fuck was that anyway? Who does that? He wanted to smack Marco with his mother's favourite vase and remind him that that wasn't very hetero of him.

The notifications just kept getting more annoying the more they come. Jean groaned in frustration and dragged himself up into a sitting position. As expected, they were all very pissed at him. There were more than 20 texts from Eren, 8 from Reiner, 11 from Mikasa but none from Connie. Huh. He was probably busy making out with a random girl to give a fuck. There were a couple missed calls from them as well. He put the phone back in his pocket and sighed. There was nothing he could do now. He didn't feel like partying anymore anyway.

Marco came back holding a case of beer and a small bag he could only assume were cookies.

"Mina's in the shower but here's the cookies"

Jean got up from the couch and took the case of beer and cookies when Marco handed them over.

"I'll replace the beer. Thanks for today.. and the beer. I had fun"

Marco gave him that smile again. The one that kept him awake at night and made his stomach feel weird and tingly. He just wished he'd stop doing that because it was starting to hurt now.

"We should do this again sometime"

Jean faked a smile, "Yeah. Of course"

Marco walked him out to the front door. Jean waved goodbye and started walking away but Marco grabbed his arm gently and stopped him. Jean looked back at him in confusion. His heart started beating violently in his chest when Marco stepped closer and reached for his cheek. He rubbed his thumb along it carefully before dropping his hand and stepping back.

"You had a cookie crumb on your cheek. You're a messy eater"

Jean laughed shakily, "Yeah so I've been told. See you around"  
  


**•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°**

**Friday, 8:30 pm**

Jean stood in front of Mikasa's house holding the case of beer. He hesitated before knocking. Good thing Reiner was the one who opened the door.

"We thought you're not coming at all. Where have you been?", he asked as he wrapped an arm around Jean's shoulder, about to pull him inside.

Jean stopped him halfway and got out of his firm grasp. "Wait, Reiner…"

Reiner furrowed his eyebrows but his hand still remained on Jean's shoulder, not as firm as earlier. "What's wrong?"

"I just don't feel good. I just want to sleep. Here", Jean handed him the case. "Just came here to drop those off. Say hi to Mikasa for me"

"Are you sure? Did you walk all the way here? I can drive you ho-"

"No. I'm fine. I'll take the cab. Go back in there and have fun", Jean gave him a pat on his bicep.

"Mikasa's in there if you wanna talk to her. You want me to call her?"

"No, Reiner. It's fine. I'll see her tomorrow"

Reiner sighed and put the case of beer down on the grass. He shook off his jacket and wrapped it around Jean. "You're shivering. You were wearing a jacket earlier. Did you lose it?"

Jean was in a hurry to get out of Marco and Mina's presence earlier that he forgot his jacket in Marco's place. But what was he supposed to tell Reiner? He was late because he was hanging out with the most attractive man he'd seen? Oh, and he kinda serenaded him too. Then suddenly an ugly gremlin had the nerve to interrupt them except she wasn't ugly at all, she was really pretty and nice.

"I lost it. I don't remember how or when. I just wanna go home", he said, his composure starting to break.

Reiner gave him a soft smile and ruffled his hair. Why does everyone keep doing that?

"Alright. I'm calling you a cab", he zipped up the jacket and lifted up the hood on Jean's head, making sure he was warm and comfortable. He then proceeded to call him a cab.

Jean arrived in 30 minutes. He tried stalling and took the stairs instead of the elevator towards their floor. He could hear the crinkling sound of the bag containing the cookies as he walked up the steps. He hugged himself and pulled Reiner's jacket closer towards him. It was too big around his torso and the sleeves were too long. He had to fold them upwards a few times so they wouldn't cover his hands entirely.

He eventually arrived at their shared apartment. He rummaged through the pocket of his jeans for his keys. The smell of lasagna hit his nose as soon as he stepped in. Hanji and Moblit were seated around the table already eating. He took the cookies out of his bag and walked over towards them.

"Jeanbo! Welcome back. Ooohhh that's a nice jacket. Is that your boyfriend's?", Hange asked with her mouth full of lasagna.

He rolled his eyes and tossed the bag of cookies on the table. "This is Reiner's"

"I knew you two would eventually get together", she added.

"Leave the poor kid alone, Hange. Get rid of that ugly jacket and grab a seat. There's a plate ready for you already", Moblit said as he scrolled through his phone while picking at his lasagna.

He took off Reiner's jacket and threw it on the couch. He then grabbed a seat in between Hange and Moblit. He ate in silence as he listened to the two older teens argue about who's going to die next in Game of Thrones. Jean snorted mentally. It didn't matter who dies next. The exciting part was how they were going to die. He watched a few seasons and the deaths were very creative and colorful. Thinking about it made the taste of his lasagna turn sour though. Sometimes his wild imagination was a curse.

"So what's the matter with you?"

"Huh?", it took a while before Jean realised Moblit was talking to him. "What do you mean?"

"You come back here looking like someone stole your favourite candy"

"Maybe someone did", Hange said absentmindedly, focused on opening the gallon of ice cream.

"I'm just tired"

"You're always tired, sunshine", Hange gave him a smile as she pried the gallon open.

"You know you can tell us anything, Jean. Is it a girl problem?", Moblit asked.

"What? No"

"A boy problem then. I don't judge. I'm quite experienced in that field so if you want to talk about it I'm all ears"

"Fucking hell, Moblit. It's not. Why is it always about boys to you? I'm done eating. Goodnight", Jean got up then grabbed his bag and Reiner's jacket on the couch before storming off into his room. 

**•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°**

**Friday, 11 pm**

After brushing his teeth and a quick shower, Jean was in bed under the covers scrolling through Facebook. He was about to fall asleep when his phone vibrated in his hand. It was a friend request from Annie.

What the shit?

Jean accepted it without hesitation and in a few seconds, she messaged him.

_'Sup donkey' -A_

He rolled his eyes and smiled.

_'What do you want, Goldilocks?' -J  
  
_

_'The girls and I are planning to buy furniture for the common room. I don't know when but we need help' -A  
  
_

_'And why are you telling me this?' -J  
  
_

_'Because the other guys are going to be dramatic about it if we asked them. You're man enough to take the offer, right? 👁️👄👁️?' -A  
  
_

_'Eh fuck it. Sure. Buy me food after' -J  
  
_

_'We'll see' -A_

_  
'Night Goldilocks' -J_

  
_  
'Night donkey'_

Jean laughed softly and shook his head. Annie used to scare him a lot. She was just so quiet and always kept her thoughts to herself. Of all people in their club, he didn't expect he'd get along well with her of all people. He was about to place his phone on the nightstand next to his bed when he received another text. It was from Reiner this time.

_'Goodnight, lil pony👅 Take your meds and keep yourself warm. The boys and I will beat you up if you don't come to school tomorrow'_

His night might have been shitty but at least his friends were there for him. He didn't need Marco. His life was already shitty enough. He didn't need another shithead playing with his emotions. All he needed was to apologize to Mikasa for not making it to her party and take her on a date. Simple enough.


	7. Chapter 7

****•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°  
**** **Monday, 8 pm  
  
**

Jean and Moblit were lounging lazily on the couch in the living room after eating dinner. The TV was on but neither were watching. The lights were off, the only source of light was coming from the television. Moblit was busy typing and scrolling through his phone while Jean read a book quietly beside him. It was a book Mikasa lent him. When Jean mentioned that he enjoyed reading too, the girl insisted he should give her favourite book a try. The thing was Jean enjoyed reading fantasy and mystery books. He enjoyed reading Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. He had a few books laying around about murder and politics too. But never in his life did he expect that he would read a cheesy romance novel that had a very shallow plot.   
  


Jean sighed and closed the book, letting it fall onto his lap. He decided he would give the girl a chance. He returned her calls and texts. They even met up yesterday. It wasn’t awful but it wasn’t fun either. They just ate lunch while Mikasa talked about her favourite artists. Jean just nodded along and pretended he was interested. And just like that their date ended. He walked her home and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Without looking back, he headed straight home.  
  


He wanted their relationship to work but they had very little in common. Even if that wasn’t the case, Jean couldn’t find it in himself to be attracted to her. He didn’t know why. Maybe she was being too clingy?   
  


“Jean, look”, Moblit scooted closer to him to show him something on his phone.  
  


 _‘Not again’,_ Jean thought.   
  


“What is it, Moblit?”, he answered as he let out an exasperated sigh.   
  


“Do you think this guy is hot?”  
  


“I don’t know”, Jean shrugged uninterestedly and looked towards the television, refusing to look at the phone. Why would he? It was just a dumb guy anyway.   
  


“You’re not even looking”  
  


Jean rolled his eyes and glanced at the wretched phone. “Sure. Whatever. He’s hot”  
  


Moblit raised an eyebrow and gave him the best version of his bitch face. “Jean, a guy can say another guy is hot without being gay”   
  


Jean scowled, “I said he’s hot. What else do you want from me?”  
  


Moblit sighed defeatedly, “I think I’m going to meet up with him tomorrow”  
  


“And you need my confirmation if a guy is hot before banging him?”  
  


Moblit snorted. “He says he’s not gay but he likes to eat ass for fun”  
  


Jean gave him a disgusted look.  
  


“I keep meeting guys like that here just like the last time. Sweetie, I’ll give you a year before you come out of the closet”, Moblit continued as he typed on his phone.  
  


Jean made an irritated face, “Moblit.. Why do you think every guy you meet is gay?”  
  


“I don’t think every guy is gay, Jean. I just have a very accurate gaydar”  
  


“The fuck is a gaydar? How does it even work? How can you even tell if a dude is gay?”  
  


Moblit put down his phone and sighed, “Alright. For example, when a guy jokes about sucking a dick to a stranger…”  
  


Jean’s eyes widened at that. He let the information process in his brain thoroughly because there was just no way in hell Marco was gay. He had a girlfriend and they seemed inseparable.   
  


“...or if he has a Grindr profile. If you have a Grindr profile, you don’t have the right to say you’re straight”  
  


Again, another wave of anxiety hit him thinking about the first time he made a Grindr profile. In his defense, he didn’t actually come there to find a hookup. He was just… curious. Wait. He was curious. That didn’t look like a good sign.  
  


Thankfully, Moblit’s phone rang to break the awkward silence.   
  


“Erwin! Hi! Yes, Hange is in the other room. Hold on”, he got up from the couch and left him there staring at the TV like the absolute mess he was. 

  
  
**•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°**

**Tuesday, 12 am**

Jean had a class at 7:30 in the morning tomorrow but he couldn’t fall asleep. He kept tossing and turning until his blanket and most of his pillows fell on the ground. He listened as his phone vibrated on the nightstand beside him, ignoring the consecutive calls from Mikasa. Why was she calling at midnight anyway? They both had school tomorrow.   
  


The ringing stood stopped followed by a single beep on his phone indicating a text from someone. He picked it up half-expecting for it to be from Mikasa but it was from his mom.   
  


_‘And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God._

_-1 Corinthians 6:11’  
  
_

Jean bit his lip before deleting the text. He was so done with his family forcing their religion on him. Religion should be by choice, not to be forced upon you because your parents believed so. He tossed his phone at the nightstand and laid back down on the bed. He closed his eyes to try to get some sleep but still, it didn’t work.  
  


Eventually, he gave up and grabbed his laptop. He couldn’t sleep anyway. Might as well give it a try. He turned his laptop on and soon found himself staring at a gay test from the first website he saw. There were 20 questions but as soon as he saw the first one he could immediately tell it was going to be dumb.   
  


_‘1) How much did you pay for your last haircut?’  
  
_

Jean couldn’t even remember. Sometimes he cut his own hair, sometimes he let Moblit do it. He clicked the lowest answer in the choices which said under $10.  
  


_‘2)Who makes the best messenger bags for men?’  
  
_

He raised an eyebrow. What the fuck was a messenger bag?   
  


_‘3)I wish I had Brad Pitt’s:_ _-Face_

_-Wife_

_Money_

_-Body’  
  
_

Without hesitation, Jean clicked on the money. The questions kept getting dumber and dumber the deeper he got into it. He answered them all half-heartedly and soon the test was over. His heart pounded in his chest as the test calculated.   
  


**_‘YOU ARE 20% GAY_   
** **_You’re definitely not gay but could be straighter, if you know what I mean darling’_   
  
**

Jean stared at the screen for a few minutes. He was a little relieved with the result but it made him even more confused. Mikasa was one of the hottest girls on campus. Why couldn’t he find himself to be attracted to her only a little bit? Maybe it wasn’t him who’s the problem. Maybe he was just not attracted to her at all because he was looking for something else in a girl. Maybe a little taller, tan, had beautiful brown eyes that light up whenever she smiles, freckles, huge muscles and deep sexy voice.. Wait, what the fuck?   
  


He panicked and closed his laptop, pushing it away from him in the bed as far as possible and looked at it offendedly. He grabbed his phone and scrolled through his gallery, looking for the perfect picture of him and Mikasa from their date yesterday before making it as his wallpaper. There. No more Marco. Just Mikasa and him. Maybe the more he looked at it, the more he would forget about the freckled little shit.   
  


Defeatedly, he grabbed his laptop and went back to the browser. He typed in _“How to deal with a girlfriend if you’re gay”  
  
_

He honestly wasn’t considering himself gay but maybe he was bisexual. Maybe if he forgot about Marco and got his shit together, everything will go well with Mikasa. He just needed to focus on her.   
  


He found a forum discussing the similar situation he was in. There were a couple dumb comments and homophobic slurs but one caught his eye.   
  


_‘My friends like to talk about girls all the time, their boobs, their asses, their thighs. I just go along with it. Whenever I insult someone, I call them a fag. If there’s a hot guy in your school, don’t pay any attention to him. Just make out with the hottest girl in school. But then the problem is she might want to fuck. So it’s better to go for prudish girls. If she ever gets excited, you dump her and go straight to another girl. That way, your friends will think you’re a playboy. It’s win-win’  
  
_

Jean bit his nails anxiously. He might not be attracted to Mikasa but there was no way in hell he was going to do that to her. And there was no way he’d call another guy a fag just to insult them. You didn’t have to be gay to know that it’s below the belt.   
  


As expected, the internet was a dumb source of information when it came to things like that. He just had to suck it up and nail it.

  
  
  


**•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°**

**Tuesday, 10 am**

Jean was sitting in the gym with Reiner, Connie and Eren watching the cheerleaders practice. The three of them were drooling hungrily as they stared at the group of girls while, Jean had the most ridiculous scowl on his face. He endured a few minutes of self-questioning before the practice finally ended. The three boys beside him groaned in frustration.   
  


The cheerleading coach approached the girls and started to brief them for the next practice. He dismissed the girls and turned towards them. “Show’s over boys. Get going”, then he walked away.   
  


“Did he have to be so gay?”, Jean whispered to Eren.   
  


He gave Jean a baffled look, “What?”  
  


“You didn’t notice? He was ultra gay”  
  


The three boys shared a look before Connie butted in. “What’s up with you having a problem with gay people all of a sudden?”  
  


“I don’t have a problem with them. But come on, dude. It was really obvious”  
  


“Uh.. Are you just pointing out he’s gay or what? Great observation, Jean”, Eren added, still giving him a puzzled look.  
  


“What’s up with you guys being pissed at me all of a sudden?”, Jean snapped.  
  


“What? No one’s pissed with you, Jean”, Reiner assured.   
  


“Yeah, man. You’re the one who’s been bitchy lately”, Connie said.   
  


“Bitchy? Me?”  
  


“Are you still feeling sick? We heard you were sick last friday. It’s no big deal, dude. You can go home if you want. I’ll let you copy my notes”, Eren said.  
  


Jean sighed and shook his head. “Yeah sorry. That’s it. I’m still just feeling under the weather.”  
  


“Fuck. Connie, we forgot our books in the courtyard. Goddamnit”, Eren cursed under his breath and started getting up. Connie followed suit.   
  


“We’ll meet you guys later”, and with that, the two were gone.   
  


Reiner, who was seated on the bench a step higher than Jean, hugged him from behind and rubbed his nose at the top of his head playfully. “I told you, you don’t have to keep it to yourself all the time. It’s alright to get sick. And you’re still wearing my jacket so I guess you still feel a little cold, huh?”  
  


Jean blushed at the sudden affection from the blonde and ducked his head. “Yeah. A little”  
  


“Aawww. Don’t worry I’ll keep you warm”, Reiner said and pulled Jean close. He was now sitting in between Reiner’s thighs with his back pressed against his abdomen. The blonde’s chin was pressed at the top of his head and it tickled.   
  


“Uh.. Sorry to interrupt but..”, a familiar voice made the two look up.   
  


Jean’s eyes widened while Reiner just gave the intruder a confused look.   
  


“Can we help you?”, Reiner asked before Jean could say something.   
  


“You left your jacket last Friday”, Jean had to get out of Reiner’s grasp to get the jacket.   
  


“Wait. Isn’t that mine?”, Reiner asked. “Where did you get this?”  
  


Marco glanced at Jean before shrugging. “He left it at the bus”, without waiting for an answer, he walked away.   
  


Jean cursed mentally. Of all the jackets he could leave behind at Marco’s place, he left Reiner’s. He forgot how many jackets of Reiner’s he had with him that he started considering him as his own.   
  


“You know that guy?”, Reiner asked Jean, his arms coming back to wrap around him.  
  


“Met him at Sasha’s dumb club..”  
  


“He seems cool”  
  


“Yeah….” 


End file.
